Fear of Failure

I tried to make sourdough bread today from a starter I have been nursing for the last couple days. Yeast bread has been tackled and overcome. Bread from a starter... not yet.

Lessons learned:

1. Needs more flour. The dough needed a bit more flour to tighten it up a bit more. Its a feel thing, and this attempt was not dry/firm enough.
2. Needs more warmth. In an effort to save on the heating bill, I neglected to provide the yeast with sufficient warmth to get a good rise from it. Saved money from making one's own bread is lost in the heating bill.
3. Failures are not insurmountable. Nor are successes. There is no need to blame anyone or anything for the bread not turning out as I had hoped.

Herein lies the item worthy of ponder. The bread did not turn out as I had hoped. What am I to do when faced with "failure"? Do I question God as to why he did not answer my needs (give us this day, our daily bread)? Is not getting what I want/need sufficient cause to reject God?

You may ask, why bring God into this? It was bread making and I should take responsibility for my overly wet, under risen dough. Yet, how often have I heard others ask me why God did this or God did that, when the situation is equally mundane. Why did God allow innocent victims to be hurt or why did God have to let my (fill in the blank) die?

God didn't let these things happen any more than God let me make a loaf of bread that didn't meet my expectations. Perhaps, God did let it happen without divine intervention. What's so bad/wrong about that? God is not our step-and-fetch servant. The last time I saw a painting of God, he wasn't wearing a short black french maid's outfit with a lacy white apron.

I suppose paintings can be somewhat deceptive. Nonetheless, I could see my work today as a smashing success, if only I change my point of view as to what I wanted for an outcome. If I wanted to get a workout kneading dough, while having a good time, then what comes out of the oven is not the determination of success/failure, but rather the experience of making bread.

I made sourdough bread today.